A recent study showed that just 3 out of 10 people feel happy with their lives, meaning 70% are not happy!
Paying off debt, making a career change, pushing for that next promotion, starting a family. We all likely have decisions we think about often, but have stalled out on. There are also times we feel like we are in a place of comfort, a place of happiness, but if we think deeply we realize there is a stagnation or deep-rooted unhappiness.
This seems to be a recurring theme for me in the past couple of weeks. Not only has it been a theme that has had a huge play in my own life in the past 6-9 months, but it’s also a theme that I’ve had others bring up in lunches, conversations, and that I’ve read about in recent blog posts numerous times recently.
I recently left a job. It was difficult. It was confusing. I was a major contributor in building and leading a marketing department that took an organization from >$1 million in revenue a year to $500 million in revenue a year. It was my professional baby and we were fortunate in building a significant company that helped millions of people and employed thousands. It was very difficult to leave. The steps below are something a very smart mentor shared with me and they were the solution I needed to help drive me towards my positive, life-changing decision. Launching my company, Above The Fold, was one of those outcomes.
There is a common thought out there that you are either moving ahead or you are falling backwards. There is no way to stay in a state of equilibrium – where you are neither falling back nor moving ahead. We’ve all been there before. You go through a period of significant growth, where you’ve pushed yourself to a near point of breaking. Then you decide to pull back and go into a state of rest, so that you can go at it again after you’ve recouped. While everyone needs self-care, there is danger in not defining how long is needed. Giving yourself just enough time to recoup, before you push yourself ahead to a new level of growth.
In business and as a leader, this is key. It starts with you being in a happy and prosperous state. If you are in a good place, then it’s your responsibility to help your team also find that happiness and growth. However it can be hard, in the moment, to know if you are in a rut.
Here are 3 questions to help you know if you’ve hit a rut.
- Do I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or don’t know what to do next in a key part of your life?
- In this particular area, do you have a clear goal you can recite?
- Do you know exactly where you stand on the achievement of that goal?
Those questions should help you uncover whether you are in a rut. If, based on those questions, you feel like you are stuck, here is the secret to getting out.
- Start now.
Delaying will not help. - Ask yourself who you want to become
We all have our “happy place”. It might be a run. It might be a quiet place. Put yourself in that place and consciously think through the part of your life that you are feeling uncertain about. This sounds simple, but it can be the most difficult to do when you’re caught in a state of confusion. Jot down notes on what is most important to you and what you desire to become. - Find a mentor.
This doesn’t have to be a consultant or professional mentor. In fact, pick a friend, a co-worker, a significant other. Find someone that will listen, more than anything. Take those thoughts to that person and use them as a sounding board. - Set your goal. Include relevant milestones.
Make it clear. Put dates to it. Share it with your mentor.
Defining and declaring a goal is magical. Small goals, small wins will build towards meaningful change. Goals are the catalyst needed to drive meaning and impact. As we like to say, “The Universe Aligns” once you define, state, and share your goal.
This is transformative for you, the individual. Once you’ve used this approach, had it impact your life, the next step is to share it with others. Become that “mentor” for someone else. For your team, for your friends, for someone that you believe may be stuck in this rut.